I stopped thinking of myself as a dancer…

In November 2020, I severely injured my ankle.
My MRI showed ligaments with split tears and partial tears, a stress fracture, and multiple tendon injuries.

Overnight, my life had to completely change, and over the course of the next 10 months, I had to learn some difficult lessons about patience and showing myself love, but I also learned an important lesson about what it means to be a creative person too.

Dance had been the thing I spent every waking minute thinking of, doing, and talking to others about. Suddenly, I was faced with not just an injury, but an identity crisis. For so long, dance had been my outlet/my art and I thought of myself as a “dancer,” so when I lost that avenue of expression, I had a lot of trouble understanding how to identify myself as a person without it.

What I’ve realized since then is that I’m not just a “dancer” - I am a whole creative being who chooses to express myself through dance. When dance is unavailable, I can choose to express myself through other avenues, and even though they may not feel as natural to me as dance, that does not invalidate the expression, and it does not strip me of my identity as an artist. Drawing, painting, writing, cooking, hooping, and music are all things that I explored and that nourished my creative health.

In my humble opinion, being an artist is also so much more than the work that we actively produce - it is a state of mind and a lifestyle that we can engage in whether it produces a tangible result or not. I practiced other skills during my hiatus that I think take an equal amount of creativity as drawing or dancing. Things like fully engaged long-form conversations, riding a motorcycle, building good habits, learning jiu-jitsu, and organizing my apartment in a way that optimized my efficiency and flow throughout my day… these are all highly creative endeavors that enriched my life.

I also believe that sometimes the greatest masterpiece of art that we can work on is ourselves. When I choose to spend time becoming self-aware, improving my flaws, enriching my education, and aligning my lifestyle to my values, I am creating a physical manifestation of what I envision in my head - a better version of me. Even though it’s not something I can package up and sell or show off in a portfolio, it’s still a creation that I’ve put my energy and effort into that no one could have made except for me. Isn’t that what art ultimately is?

At the end of the long healing process of my ankle injury, I reflect back on it with gratitude. Of course I would have preferred if it never happened, but because it did, I was able to focus on building up other aspects of myself that I had not even realized I was neglecting and I am a more well-rounded, happier person because of it. I was forced to zoom out - to look at my life from a new perspective, in the context of a larger timeline, and that has helped me to find a sense of direction and purpose that I was lacking before.

My main message for you after this experience is: see yourself in a larger context than just your “niche.” Learn to take care of your creative health (the same way you take care of your physical and mental health), and pursue new endeavors that force you to think about yourself, your actions, and your life in a different way.